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Male Selective Hearing

Critiqued by Cowboytf | September 10, 2007 .

Examples:
“Hey sweetie, could you come change this light bulb for me?”……*silence*……”sweetie, sweetie, sweetie!”

“Hey sweetie, do you need a beer?”…….”yeah, I do.” 

Can you spot the difference?  The first quote is a prime example of selective hearing.  What is selective hearing you ask? It’s a filter. For most men it is genetic and is located in the auditory canal, just before the ear drum. This enables man to hear what he wants to hear, not hear what part he doesn’t want to hear or deny hearing whatever a female said in the first place.  He doesn’t need to put his fingers in his ears and go ‘la, la, la’, he just switches off part of his brain.

Conversation is an interesting area of study when considering the effects of the Y chromosome. Hour upon hour can be spent by men dissecting each play of a football game or obscure episodes of The Girls Next Door. However, any emotional content to a conversation is either of little interest or avoided completely. 

For men, the incredible ability not to hear things and not to talk about things is matched by an amazing skill at picking out sounds they do like, like the opening of a beer can.

Tip: A conversational commentary that gives a lot of information can be too complicated.

Example:
I like most wines, especially the Spanish ones from Rioja or Navarra. However, I prefer the red wines and some rosé. I really dislike most Spanish white wine but enjoy most German white wines.

He may note that you like wine (especially if he does too). However, the ‘white wine’ may stick, resulting in him bringing you an imported bottle of it. After all, you did say something about Spanish wines and mentioned white wines twice.

This is the way you should have said the above…
I really dislike white wine. I prefer the taste of red wine.

This is easy and short enough for a man to tune into to. Had you made it more complicated or longer, then selective hearing would have been activated.

In closing, when speaking, do this frontally, establish eye contact and have a relaxed expression. Ask them to repeat what you said, and for very important communications, have a calendar at hand to annotate and affirm understanding. Have the male initial the entry. This will shorten future disputes. Ignore the offended look. Smile.

Inspired by my Dad and the man of my house

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15 Comments so far
  1. Lisa  September 10, 2007 6:38 pm

    I swear you have to talk to them like you talk to a toddler. :)

  2. Jennifer  September 10, 2007 6:59 pm

    I think the very last two instructions are the best! hehe!

  3. Jade  September 10, 2007 11:27 pm

    Mine has something I like to think of as selective speaking, too. An extremely basic example would be as follows:

    Him: 2+2=6
    Me: No, it’s 4.
    *arguing ensues*
    Him: NO, cause when you add 2+2, and then you add the other 2, it equals 6.
    Me: You didn’t tell me anything about the other two. You skipped that part.
    Him: Oh…..sorry

    We just had a really long laugh about it last night, actually!

  4. Cowboytf  September 11, 2007 1:31 am

    Yes, Lisa, even as a baby sometimes:)

    Thanks for stopping by Jennifer!

    And Jade…lol!!!!! Too funny!

  5. Charlotte  September 11, 2007 4:54 am

    Men are just big babies. My hubby is my 2 yr old. I’ve called him that for years. He’ll never grow older. LOL

  6. valmg  September 11, 2007 4:57 am

    Did you know men don’t get selective hearing, they’re born with it.

  7. Cowboytf  September 11, 2007 5:00 am

    Men ARE babies!! That’s why when someone asks me how many kids I have, I say 4.

  8. Cowboytf  September 11, 2007 5:01 am

    Valmg–HA! You are so right;)

  9. fran  September 11, 2007 7:12 am

    Very Funny!! unfortunately true here too :)

  10. Cowboytf  September 11, 2007 7:14 am

    I think it’s true for just about every man;)

  11. Chris Merriman  September 11, 2007 9:11 am

    I have to agree with most of that. Just in case women need any reassurance, this is not a conscious decision. After many years of nagging, our brain automatically filters out the requests to complete tasks. It may even initiate some suitable communication back.
    As an example
    ‘Chris, can you take the rubbish out and do the washing please?’
    ‘uh-huh, sure hon, let me just finish this post off a sec’

    Doesn’t sound too bad?
    Unfortunately I will have zero recall of the conversation with 2 minutes. Now, if I’m lucky, after finishing the post, I’ll check what needs doing, and maybe complete 1/2 of the requested task, but still not recall what was actually required of me…

    Basically, it is nothing personal, and we don’t always even have conscious control over the process.

  12. CyberCelt  September 24, 2007 4:57 am

    I write everything I want done on a whiteboard on the fridge. LOL

    Here from Carnival of BCs.

  13. Cowboytf  September 24, 2007 8:18 am

    That’s a great tip! I think I need the board to be by the TV though..lol.

  14. Sabrina's Money Matters  October 21, 2007 1:36 pm

    :D What really trips me out is when I talk to my husband, and I have learned to speak quite literally to get my points across, and he asks me what I mean by that! Or he comments on my tone. LOL.

    Other times I’ll tell him in 5 minutes I’m leaving to go to xxxxx. And when I’m leaving he’ll ask where I’m going.

    Ah! LOL

  15. Cowboytf  October 24, 2007 12:22 pm

    I definately can relate to those scenarios. I find that sometimes just ignoring him can get a response out of him. :mrgreen: